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I haven't posted here in quite a while. I've been busy mostly doing art. Also reestablishing something of an actual life since the whole college fiasco, the Omaha nightmare, and then the Orlando debacle. So whatever happened to that guy with the crazy-detailed mermaid drawings? He's fighting to survive in a world he never made.
At some point along the way I think I decided I was either going to do art for a living or die trying. It wasn't intentional, it just sort of happened out of necessity. The trouble with this whole freelance thing is that it tends to be feast of famine. I pretty much spent the last couple of months working from the moment I got out of bed until I passed out that night. And then the work stopped. And you really can't enjoy the time off because you have to go find more work. So it's this constant stress thing. But at least I don't hate what I do.
So i could literally upload 1,000s of drawings and computer graphics to my DA account. You all seriously have no idea. But I'm kind of at that stage where I'm like, "Why?" I used to have those little projects that actually meant something to me. It's funny how when you're broken down to absolutely nothing those things quit mattering. That "comic project" or "book I almost finished" is pointless when you're crushed at the bottom of Maslow's pyramid. The reality is this, if you want to get paid doing art, you have to make other people's visions come to life. It's the trouble with being a creative person vs "normal". The normal person works his 8 then goes home and pursues hobbies and whatever. The artist does art for money, then goes home and does the stuff that really matters. He works two jobs for life. And eventually you burn out. >POOF<
I guess I'm also burned out on the dA experience. Don't get me wrong, I did manage to meet some really cool people. Of course this is virtual land and I can't say I've actually met anyone from here, but that's the way the world works now. We sit in protective boxes and seek out out like minded people to type messages to. Some of us still manage a healthy balance, some choose to sequester themselves, and some of us live in small town Iowa. But what really is the point of DA? I guess it's social networking for artists? Okay, it's different things for different people. Some people are out for page views. Some people are fans of characters and such. Some people use dA as a learning ground. I was always a little suspicious. I watch you and you watch me back. Did you actually like MY art, or are you just hoping I will like yours. Sometimes, like dating, it's a mutual match. The one thing I did here differently than anywhere else on the web was I journal-ed. I spoke my mind. I put out the gory details of my life. I spoke up about things that mattered. And I was mostly rebuked for it since dA is a hotbed for liberals who mostly hate the things I stand for: God, liberty, and life. And through those fights and squabbles, I've pretty much deemed most of the world unfit to actually live here. Sounds harsh? Don't get me wrong, I like plenty of you all. But we still live in a world where children are being beheaded. Children for crying out loud. So I could post 1,000s of pictures into a sea of billions of artworks. And maybe someone out there will hit the "fav" button. I guess the novelty of that has kind of warn off. I think I've always been more interested in having something to say to try and to etch away at all the craziness in the world. I think that still matters, but honestly how do you reach out to baby-killers? With reason? Clearly not. The world's gone insane and 1,000 words or a 1,000 pictures aren't going to change that. Yeah, I think I'm going to step outside because this bland green color just isn't doing it for me anymore.
Wishing you all the best...
